Everything but babies and sunshine

Evolution has lead us to a new state in advancement.  Humans have been placed in an extreme position of basically rendering evolution obsolete.  The things that used to evolve species are pretty much nonexistent in terms of human evolution.  Disease, unavailability of necessities and climate have been trumped by medicine, technology and transportation advances.  We no longer evolve on Darwinian terms.

But a new form of evolution has been created, a "sub-evolution," have you.  For although we reside high atop the food chain, there is another chain that has been constructed where the bigger, badder machines/technologies dominate the smaller ones.

Take war as an example.  We have created weapons that ironically reveal that although we are the smartest creatures to walk this planet, we are also the only ones who possess the ability to destroy it.  This is our neo-evolution.  Our creations become the new factors in determining our next evolutionary leap.

Take a more casual example:  truckers.  Most people see these beasts simply as annoyances; speeding past them on the highway to avoid a nervous driving experience.

But they possess much more necessity than many people give them credit.

Think about what you are doing right now.  You are probably sitting in a manmade construct, be it your room or the local Starbucks, on your manmade computer in manmade clothes.

With out trucks literally none of those things would be in existent.  Everything we buy, consume and build depends on truckers to deliver the necessary goods.  

With that thought, it is now more obvious why we see so many of these damn monstrosities occupying the highway, their natural habitat.

Truckers (or: truckie, lorry driver) have a much different job than most.  In fact, it is so time consuming that it is an understatement to say it is just a job, but rather a lifestyle, where their "normal" life (as we would see it) is simply a muted underscore to their daily business.

Depending on the country, truckers have different guidelines for how many hours they can drive legally.  In the US, they can in any given 14 hour period, drive 11 hours.  This must be followed up by a 10 hour break of no driving at all.  In Europe, they can only drive 4.5 hours in a row, followed by a 45 minute break.  And the total weekly driving cannot exceed 56 hours.

These are safety protocols that are very necessary, but sadly are not safe enough.

Being a truck driver is statistically the most dangerous job one can have.  Over 10% of all occupational deaths are truckers who are 5 times more likely to die on the job than the average worker.  These are primarily due to highway collisions, but other factors, like robberies and cargo management lead to many deaths.

And, honestly, the death rate probably isn't the worst thing about trucking.  As the long distance drivers will explain, this is not a job, it is an all-consuming lifestyle.  

Typically, drivers do not return home for months at a time.  Many drive so much they see the lack of necessity for a house and just reside in the truck permanently.  They, in a way, literally become one with machine.  The drivers who opt for this selection are given trucks with a sleeping compartment inside.  

But there is a catch.  With the only heat/cooling available via the AC, the drivers must usually leave their engines on.  Since an idling diesel engine makes so much noise and emits so much pollution, they are banned from doing it nearly anywhere but truck stops.

Which is the driver's home away from home.  Most people think of these areas as just fueling stations (fuel islands, they are referred to by the in-the-know).  But these stops can get very complex, becoming simplistic block-sized towns.

Large stops consist of hotels, food courts, stores, laundromats, arcades, theaters, etc etc.  The largest stop in the world, Iowa 80, has many everyday fast food restaurants and maintenance facilities catering to any and all of the needs of drivers.

They provide battery-run appliances such as TV/DVD combos and ovens.

And due to the low pay for the drivers, their diet consists of cheap junk foods available at convenience stores.  Paired with the lack of exercise obtained from the long driving hours, truckers are among some of the most overweight people on earth.  Trucking is among one of the least healthy jobs.

All these factors lead to the quitting of almost a third more than are hired.  So if they hire 100, about 130 will quit.  

The sad thing is that our entire economy relies on this dangerous job.  Everything you possess was brought to you via trucks.  They fuel our markets.

They are the necessary beasts of burden that our lives revolve around while we individually try to avoid, barely noting their dire necessity.

I remember talking to a trucker once who stated, quite legitimately I must add, that there are only two things you can get with out a truck:

Babies and sunshine.

Fan Edits

Have you ever watched a film, wishing for the removal of certain minute elements?  Like an unnecessary tie-in to current events or cheesy dialog that makes you cringe?  Ever wish there was something someone could do about it?

Enter the Fan Editing subculture.  A group of tech-savvy people set out to re-cut and alter films for their betterment.  At the helm of Final Cut Pro and After Effects, these dedicated fans use amazingly clever techniques to shed new light on their favorite films.

Divided into three sections on the main site, fanedits are either "true," meaning the editor completely reworks the film, "extended," where the editor adds in the deleted or excluded scenes, and "special edition," which consists primarily of behind-the-scenes like material.

Fanediting became more mainstream when The Phantom Edit was released underground.  The Phantom Edit was recut by Mike Nichols and removes nearly all the elements critics deemed to have ruined the film.  This includes reworking nearly every Jar Jar Binks scene and removing his movie-destroying antics, re-editing the Battle Droid dialog, and removing redundant exposition throughout.

This redone version actually won over many more critics than the true film.  Which sucked.  Ass.

Since then the fanediting community has expanded greatly, with the site awarding the best edit each month.  

And not only do these edits have the purpose of making a better movie, but also to allow the viewer to witness the story in a brand new way.  One edit I was able to watch was a revamping of the Lord of the Rings trilogy edited to better follow the book.  Divided into 6 movies (to coincide with the original separation of the books), the new film follows the books as closely as possible by reordering certain scenes or removing them entirely.  So far 4 of the 6 have been released to the public, "The Return of the Shadow," "The Ring Goes South," "The Treason of Isengard," and "The Journey of the Ringbearers."  I have seen the first two and was blown away.  The editor, Kerr, manages to completely remove the original expository intro (adding his own in with Tolkien reading the infamous lines "One ring to rule them all...") and later edit it in as flashbacks with dialog from the later scenes dubbed over.  It really is an amazing way to rewatch the film.

These movies do not infringe on copyright laws due to two facts:  1.  They are never made for profit and 2.  The downloader must own the movie before they view it.

There are other amazing projects, like creating a chronological version of Pulp Fiction, dividing Pan's Labyrinth into two movies (one that follows the fantasy parts and another that follows the war drama).

Many edits are simply taking all the deleted scenes and adding them into the movie, making a more fuller experience.  A version of the cult classic Army of Darkness that not only includes all the alternate endings and beginnings and deleted scenes, but also manages to edit in the scenes presented exclusively on the SciFi channel's broadcast.  It really is the most definitive version of the film to date.

Also, endless special edition dvds have been created.  These include rare interviews, promo clips, featurettes and many more on the specific films that were not included on the official DVDs.  There are even multiple sets of purely Star Wars parodies and spoofs.

The fans even create their own disc and cover art.  Here is a cool one from the Lord of the Rings edits I mentioned above:

Probably the greatest fanedit I have viewed, though, is an alteration of one of my favorite films: Fight Club.  Subtitled "The I Am Jack's Laryngitis Edit," this version removes any and all of the protagonist's internal monologues.  It is the film in its entirety minus the voice overs and creates a truly new experience.  Is it better than the original?  No, but I feel it is such a different experience that it is unfair to even compare it.

The site is definitely something to check out, and if you can manage to get ahold of some (they are huge files, ranging from 1 to 7 gigs) indulge yourself in an epic revamped version of loved films.

I will leave you with a fan edit I guess that I created unknowingly.  A few months ago I got bored and decided to edit ABC's Lost into a chronological experience.  I have not finished it (this clip is all that is done), but since none of the official fan edits are available on youtube, it will give you an idea of what the deal truly is.  Note, spoilers:

Enjoy and keep on keepin on my friends!

Generation Joshua

Our society is supported by three underscoring pillars: science, politics and religion. Of the three, the latter is the most sensitive and usually the most controversial.

Though these pillars all overlap and feed into one another, they are separate entities and must be respected as such. Thusly, having a political system based on religious beliefs exclusively would lead to an unhealthy government, just like a political system based exclusively on science would lead to corrupt policies (think: eugenics).

Religion is a very necessary human creation (or, rather, spirituality is). Religious beliefs have existed since humanity became self-aware thousands of years ago, and will never cease to exist until humanity comes to its inevitable end in the (hopefully) far-off future.

All religions are founded for the betterment of humankind, and a large majority of their followers are good, loving and sincere people who, though possibly differing in specific beliefs, share the same overarching morals as anyone else.

Most people understand the barriers that separate religion from science and politics and most people understand why they are there: to protect the sanctity of their structures.  All people are persuaded to a certain opinion via these three fundamental factors (as well as nurtured histories), but most people enjoy the fact that these three share approximately the same power; there aren't many who want to see the totalitarian dominance of one of these equally imperative ideals over the others.

But enter the subculture of the Religious Right's Evangelical Christians, or more specifically: the enrolled students at Patrick Henry College.

Patrick Henry College (PHC) is located in Virginia; just a stone's throw away from Washington D.C.  It was founded by Michael Farris and is a private college set at becoming the next ivy league institution.

One vast difference sets PHC apart from most other colleges: it exclusively accepts home schooled Evangelical Christians.

75% of all home-schooled children in America are Evangelical Christians.  "Evangelical" by definition means "one who's life revolves around their beliefs," and for Evangelical Christians, this means that their lives revolve around The Bible.

The reason that most Evangelical Christians are home schooled is to remove them from the science-based schooling systems America puts forth for our youth.  Ideals like Evolution contradict The Bible, and any contradiction, any flaw, can (they feel, at least) unravel the very threads of their beliefs.  

So, therefore, Evangelical parents choose to teach their children themselves, the way they imagine God wants them to.  

And to some, the fact that America is becoming less Christian (some pro-gay rights, abortion's legalization, banning creationism in classrooms, etc) scares and angers them into unnecessary extremism.

One of these people peeved by America's current political business is Michael Farris, the president and founder of Patrick Henry College.  He is also the man who founded the Home School Legal Defense Association, an organization developed in 1983 to defend the rights of parents to guide the education of their children.  

This association, like PHC, was founded heavily upon Christian values, primarily to allow the teachings of biblical ideals rather than scientific evidence.  Parents do not have to adhere to the laws that govern public schools and can create their own course regulations as they see fit.

And with these courses comes a new underground market of Christian textbooks that "scientifically" argue creationism over evolution, the "historical" evidence for the massive flood and many more biblical ideas that are contradicted by modern scientific understandings.

These children are forced into an education system based thoroughly on biblical teachings, removed from the norm and thrust into a life of censorship and control.  Many of these kids are taught that God's true idea of a society is based exclusively on the Christian holy book and that any other form not adhering to the Bible is hell bound.  This is heavily evident in the documentary Jesus Camp (where Harry Potter is deemed a warlock worthy of crucifixion):

Thus, many of these children's destinies direct them to Patrick Henry College to further expand their political activity.

With only 500 acceptances a year, PHC, founded specifically for home schooled Christians, has very strict guidelines for who exactly they allow in.  

Students must prove themselves to be not only completely engaged in Christianity, but also in the political realm of the American ethos.  Prior to acceptance, many students travel to Washington DC, competing in minor tasks of protests sought to convert the votes of many politicians or citizens to the ways of God.

Once accepted they must sign a "Statement of Faith" that indoctrinates them into fully accepting the Bible as fact.  Some of the terms this establishes are "Satan exists as a personal, malevolent being who acts as tempter and accuser, for whom Hell, the place of eternal punishment, was prepared, where all who die outside of Christ shall be confined in conscious torment for eternity," and must agree to a life of abstinence (until marriage) and refusal to drink, smoke, etc.

Teachers sign their own statement, forging an educational doctrine that follows a Statement of Biblical Worldview:  "Any biology, Bible, or other courses at PHC dealing with creation will teach creation from the understanding of Scripture that God's creative work, as described in Genesis 1:1-31, was completed in six twenty-four hour days."

Teachers explain that all creatures were created at once (or within a few days of each other) and that fossils exist due to the flood.  Basically, that dinosaurs coexisted with humans until the flood where they were all killed and quickly fossilized by the heavy water flow.

The main focal point of the college is political training.  It is so important, in fact, that the debate classes, a mandatory course, is overlooked by Michael Farris himself, with strict guidelines and tactics.

After the students graduate, they are persuaded to intern at Washington DC, serving God for our decision-making politicians.  This is all well documented in the incredible book "Kingdom Coming" by Michelle Goldberg, as well as the  BBC short documentary "God's Next Army:"

Note that these students are not "evil" or "wrong."  They all think, being taught it since birth, that they are spreading the word of God to the world and that they are in the right.  By keeping them closed out from the world for a majority of their lives, these kids know no better.  They think that molding America into a Christian republic is the right thing to do.  The people in the wrong are the teachers who have fully witnessed the true world yet still demand the dedication of these naive humans.

10% of all interns at the White House are from PHC.  10% might not seem like too much, but take into consideration that this number is larger than any other school provides.  So therefore, more interns come from PHC than any other college in the world.

This subculture has been dubbed "Generation Joshua" by the higher-ups.  This group's offices are held on the PHC campus, recruiting over 6000 members thus far.

Generation Joshua (or for short, GenJ), has a significant metaphorical meaning.  Joshua was one of the spies who, as directed by Moses (actually he was Moses' apprentice), would explore Canaan, the Bible's promise land.   He was the leader of the first battle after the exodus in which the Israelites were victorious.  Shortly after this meaningful win, he was appointed by Moses to succeed him as leader of his holy people and the conquest of the promise land.  

Michael Farris, among others, see the current generation as a major steppingstone in the reformation of America into God's holy land.  In their eyes, they are helping create God's official army:

But, I ask this humbly, does God truly need an army?  Is this the healthy and right course of action as these people believe and are taught?  Should religion really so strongly collaborate itself into the political infrastructure?  Should science really be taken with a grain of salt if it contradicts Biblical stories?

When Isaac Newton, staring up at the sky pondering its intricate laws, witnessed an apple fall to the ground, he made a revolutionary breakthrough that was red flagged by nearly all religious associates.

It wasn't the concept of gravity holding us down; everyone knew that there was some force (be it God's hands pressing against the earth or some other type of energy) that held us to our planet.  It was the idea that the same force that permanently bonded us to the ground also governed the movement of the sun, stars, moons and planets in space.

In one theory, Isaac Newton successfully connected the heavens and the earth.  This went against the words of God and was not accepted until years later.

And we all know about the Salem Witch Trials, where dozens of people differentiating themselves from the status quo beliefs were brutally murdered.  Many weren't even "witches" at all, but the overwhelming fear of a threatening new system that was not the norm sentenced them to a premature death.  All because of the religious political standards.

When religion is integrated with science and politics, you obtain scientific ignorance and political bigotry.  

This is why religion, though equally necessary, should be left in the realm of spirituality.  Nothing good comes from associating it with the other pillars that construct our society.

God doesn't need an army, he doesn't "need" anything.  Humanity needs God.  And we must understand that God's ideals are the same as ours: the humane treatment of our beings, beliefs and foundations.  There is no conquest God demands.  Only morality.

I will leave you with a video from Thunderf00t, an infamous youtube user who debunks creationists, just for a humorous watch:

The most expensive way to masturbate

Embedded into our culture is the idea (or fact) that, for men, women are hard to obtain.  Be this true or not, it is obviously existent.  I mean just look back on movies or TV shows you watched as you were entering puberty.  Hell, let's take the Disney Channel as an example.

Here's a cliche scene that is universal to basically any love story involving newly hormonal teenagers:  A geeky, yet personality-rich male is really into this super-cute cheerleader who, as he puts it, "doesn't even know he exists."  He mentions this to his logical friend with a different perspective who tells him to "just go talk to her."  But he is too nervous, shy and intimidated by the being of perfection (AKA hot female) to even budge, and instead retires back to whatever he was doing.  Maybe eating a sandwich.

Sound familiar?  Well these things stick with us and affect the way we treat real-life situations. 

 

The true reason that women are "harder to obtain" is the fact that evolutionarily, females have always had limited amounts of eggs, whereas males have unlimited sperm.  Therefore, girls are naturally more protective, as the restriction is subconsciously imprinted into their instincts via millions of years of evolution.  This fact, though it does affect the availability of women, should not get in the way of approaching, talking to or even asking a girl out.

But it does.  And these next couple hundred people are rendered socially obsolete by the intimidating female beasts and their imperfect judgement.

Presenting the Real Doll, an 'interesting' alternative to a healthy, natural relationship.  A Real Doll is the best, most professional sex doll ever created, using techniques developed for Hollywood's special effects.

It is creepy how realistic these dolls look:

[The exotic Rui]

Sex dolls originated during WWII, constructed for the all-male situations soldiers were put in to relieve stress.  Back then, one can assume, the dolls looked archaic in comparison to our technological advances.

Real Dolls are built with state-of-the-art PVC skeleton with steel joints and silicone flesh, allowing for the most organic experience an inorganic object can produce.

They are manufactured by Abyss Creations.  The dolls were founded by Matt McMullen and have many many variations the buyer can control.

If you purchase a Real Doll (upwards of 5,000 dollars), you can control nearly everything about the doll.  From eye and hair color to skin pigment, height to hair length, fingernail size and paint color to tongue size, and most importantly, the breast size and vagina/anus tightness, even bush size and quantity.  Hell, want a beauty mark near the upper lip?  You got it.  Want a double-d cupped pornstar-esque bombshell?  You got it.  There is even a damn shemale feature.

Ever wanted to make love to a mutant?  Make the skin green, the eyes pure white and add a few horns.  Real Dolls cater to any and all fetishes, no matter how obscure or disgusting.  There is even a new store, Boy Toy Dolls, dedicated to dolls that are designed to emulate anime and comic book characters.

The only setback is, and this to some may be a big one, these are inorganic, non-living dolls.  They have no minds, no personalities, no way of moving unless being carried.

But this hasn't stopped many from completely and utterly falling in love with these objects.  In fact, many of their "lovers" prefer the dolls to that of actual females.  I mean, with a doll there is pure stability.  No cheating, no lying, no fighting (well, not necessarily, but it'd be very one-sided).  They have one large advantage over organic women:  they will, no matter what the situation, always remain loyal.  Also, they are guaranteed to never transmit any STDs or get pregnant.

Another major setback is that these sex dolls, like all sex dolls I suppose, eventually will deteriorate (but, hey, at least they will never get fat).  

There is now a man who specializes in the cleaning and restoration of Real Dolls.  Now this is a job no one wants:  refurbishing someone's sex doll.  Replacing the vaginas and tongues and all that.  Not fun.  

All of this is discussed vastly in the 50 minute documentary, "Guys and Dolls:"

The film focuses on many owners; one who lives with his parents, one who is in a relationship yet owns dozens and even interviews the man who cleans the dolls.  He admits to having sex with a few of the dolls he's has to clean, but comes to the conclusion that the dolls are "the most expensive form of masturbation available."  There are currently about four thousand Real Dolls throughout the world.

I will leave you with an image of a real ass and a Real Doll ass for a comparison.  Cheers:

[Real Ass]

[Doll Ass]

Speed Running

Most "gamers" see video games as another form of time-killing entertainment.  Where some games play out like a mindless episode of MTV's Parental Control, some can play out like an epic Steinbeck novel.  But, nonetheless, which ever game you pick up, be it the user friendly Mario Kart or a chapter in the complex Final Fantasy series, video games are merely a form of entertainment; something to do when you are bored.

But not for everyone, no no.  There is an obsessive subculture that revolves around setting new world records under one and only one category: the completion of video games in the shortest possible amount of time.

Enter the realm of speed running.  A highly dedicated base of gaming fans have banded together to complete certain video games in ungodly short time spans.

This, though, takes a lot of thinking outside the box.  Normal players indulge themselves into the world of the game, enjoying the journey.  Speedrunning takes this artistic side out and turns the game almost into a science.

The main site that hosts the recorded evidence of the runs is Speed Demos Archive.  They set strict rules and analyses to prove the validity of the runs.  

The official game list off the site includes basically every famous (or infamous) video game one could think of.  From Mario to Zelda, Final Fantasy to Grand Theft Auto, basically every well-loved video game has been devoured by these intense gamers.

Most of these games, as familiar fans know, are intensely long and would require hours of play even at the fastest rate possible.  But a simple understanding of how game engines work will allow you to see how these games can be completed in mere minutes.  

Most video games progress via triggers.  When the character runs into a certain area, it loads another.  When he kills a certain boss, he is granted access into a previously blocked region.  Only when these triggers are reached does the game allow the player to progress.  Certain triggers can be skipped, allowing the player to avoid certain sections of the game.  This is known as a sequence break

For example, in Super Mario 64, you only technically need to beat every Bowser stage (the main boss has three stages that allow Mario to advance into new areas) in order to trigger the ending video.  This is how, via internal glitches, players are able to beat the entire Super Mario 64 game (which normally requires the collection of at least 70 stars) to be completed with zero stars in under 6 minutes.  Yes, that is right.  The game, from start to finish, is completed in 6 minutes:

Speedrunning got it's start primarily with the original NES Metriod, where at the end the game presented the player with a time of play.  This created the desire in certain players to see how low they could make it.  Eventually, it was chiseled down to a mere 18 minutes.  

Glitches are also heavily used to complete games faster.  Use what many people call the greatest game of all time, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, as an example: 

Note: if you are unfamiliar with the game, you will not understand any of this.  Ocarina of Time is probably the most focused on of all the speedran (speedrunned?) games.  Endless hours have been spent to uncover every glitch the game possesses.  And, man, did they find a lot.  From canceling a sword slash, allowing them to slightly jump whenever they want, to rolling into a bomb and quickly switching to their hoverboots, allowing them to literally fly across the world, these guys have broken the game down to almost disgusting levels.  Search "reverse bottle adventure" on youtube (highlight is below) to view tutorials and a speedrun of the game where they skip every single level in the game by tricking the engine into giving the player all the weapons and items they need.  All of this is done with a mere bottle.  That, and a hell of a lot of tedious trial and error.

Watching these runs can be almost mesmerizing.  Imagine the planning.  The practice runs.  The mind-numbing perfection that must be achieved to establish the fastest possible time a game can be completed.

On the site's forums, players carefully analyze routes, techniques and necessary glitches (some glitches are so hard to fulfill that they may take more time than the actual section they skip) needed to break a game down even further.  

Thousands of hours of dedication are put forth when trying to create the newest speed run.  Imagine playing through Super Mario Bros. 3 in 11 minutes.  No, don't imagine it, watch it:

And some games must be divided into subcategories for different types of runs.  For example, Metroid Prime has 9 individual runs for just the American version.  These are divided into segmented vs. single-segment (meaning, does the player take breaks through the game or play it in one single sitting), any % vs. 100% (meaning does the player collect just the bare minimum or every single item in the game) and easy vs. hard mode (some games have different difficulty settings)  The best overall time, segmented, for Metroid Prime is 1 hour and 3 minutes.  The best Hard Mode 100% is 1 hour and 37 minutes.  

Another example that might be easier to comprehend is Super Mario 64.  Whereas the one posted above obtains zero stars, an alternate speedrun of 2 hours and 9 minutes has the player collecting every single 120 stars before completing the game.

It is hard to keep up with these videos.  They truly are insane.

Here is a list of a few of the highlights I feel the site has to offer:

Bioshock in 1 hour, 4 minutes

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night in 34 minutes, 34 seconds

Chrono Trigger in 3 hours, 34 minutes

Contra in 10 minutes, 17 seconds

Final Fantasy VII in 7 hours, 41 minutes

Grand Theft Auto III in 1 hour, 14 minutes

Metal Gear Solid in 1 hour, 54 minutes

Portal in 13 minutes, 16 seconds

Super Metroid in 32 minutes

The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past in 1 hour, 29 minutes

But, please, take a look at the entire listings to see all 505 games available.  And stop by the forum to see the current runs in progress.  As of now, the newest run added to the site is The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess in 3 hours and 56 minutes.

This subculture of dedicated fans pay awe-inspiring tributes to some of the most cherished video games of all time.  If you grew up with video games, I highly recommend you partake in viewing some of these, as they have nostalgia written all over them.  

It really is incredible the strenuous dedication these players put forth for our entertainment.

I will leave you with a clip from the Super Metroid 100% run.  An amazing game and an amazing feat:

Cheers!

Bootlegging

No, no, I'm not talking about the prohibition act in the 20s.  This form of bootlegging has absolutely nothing to do with Al Capone, nor the mafia.

I'm speaking about bootlegged recordings.  Unreleased music obtained by enthused fans spread throughout an in-the-know underground community thriving on the newest unheard gems.

The most avid bootleggers primarily delve into the rare obscurities of the Liverpudlian band, The Beatles.

Though other artists (Bob Dylan, Pink Floyd, etc) have been heavily bootlegged, The Beatles are in a league of their own (they even subsequently spawned their own name for bootlegs retaining only to The Beatles: "Beatlegs").

I mean, who doesn't love The Beatles?  In their official 7 year career they released 10 of the greatest records of all time, changed the way the world looked at pop culture, technically revolutionized the music industry and spread love throughout the world.  They defined an era.

Many people find it safe to say that The Beatles are the best band of all time.  Even if you disagree it is hard to claim they are anything less than amazing.  And to some fans, the thought of an unheard Beatles track is nearly orgasmic.  And for most of you, I'm sure, this knowledge of Beatle obscurities wets your auditory appetite at least a little.

So if you are intrigued, continue reading as we delve into the subculture of The Beatles, Bootlegged:

A bootleg recording, by definition is a recording released unofficially or illegally to the public.  This usually takes place with neither the artist nor the label knowing.  Due to the illegal nature of the process, the market for these releases is very slim (though the internet has helped widen the range by quite a bit).

The first recognized bootleg (of the "rock" era, at least) was a Dylan release, Great White Wonder in 1969.  It's two LPs featured outtakes from Dylan and The Band.  

Shortly after this, Kum Back, the first Beatles bootleg was released.  It contained rough mixes of an early acetate of Let It Be (then known as Get Back).  It aired on radio stations around England.

After this, an uproarious desire for new unreleased material was founded.  Literally thousands of bootleg albums have been released.  Check the listings at bootlegzone if you don't believe me.

As many know, EMI and Apple, in 1995, worked on The Beatles Anthology, compiling many of the already-leaked bootlegs (and many unheard) onto three two-disc sets.  1 year prior, Live at the BBC also compiled the best of The Beatles' performances for the BBC radio broadcast.  These official releases rendered many of the bootlegged albums obsolete, as these recordings were in superior quality.

But, for reasons unknown, many songs were not included on the Anthology sets.  Unheard gems like "Take Good Care of My Baby" from the Decca Audition Tape, John's demo of "Bad To Me", George's demo of "Sour Milk Sea", Paul's demo of "Goodbye" and the jam "Watching Rainbows" have still never seen the (official) light of day.  Included at the end of this post is a link to a sampler of fully unreleased material so you can burn your own CD (and impress friends).

And songs aren't the only thing.  Nearly every interview, home recording, chatter, live performance, etc, no matter how obscure or inaudible is sought after persistently.  Basically, if The Beatles recorded or filmed it, it is a must have for avid collectors.  

And with so much material, members of this subculture have a lot to sink their teeth into.  

For example, the Get Back sessions.  To those who don't know, a quick history:  Abbey Road, though released before Let It Be, was the last album they recorded.  It was recorded in April 1969.  Let It Be was recorded during the entire month of January of the same year.

For this album, instead of being in a normal studio, The Beatles were recorded on camera for an upcoming movie/album dual release, Get Back.  Cameras were literally filming everything The Beatles did for almost an entire month.  Hours upon hours of recordings.

An independent label, Purple Chick (well respected by bootleggers), obtained these tapes and compiled a, get this, 83-Disc set with 2187 tracks and 97 hours of material.  Think of that.  83 Discs.  97 Hours.  Wow.  And that is simply one single solitary month of material.

Purple Chick is known for its elaborately massive sets.  Rolling Stone did a quick story on them a while back.   Regardless, if you obtain a Purple Chick "Deluxe" set, you are getting the best and most expansive version of that album available.  For example, The White Album is a whopping 12 discs.  Sgt. Pepper is 6 discs.  None are less than 3 discs.  Included are the full albums pressed from a converted vinyl copy (the original pressings of the Beatles on CD were always seen as very poor, and therefore most fans prefer the sound of the vinyl pressings), all the available sessions, outtakes and demos and even some alternate mixes.

Another great thing about these sets is that they are always free.  The creators are members of this community and compile them for their fellow collectors and friends. 

With all this, one would assume that all of the Beatles' recordings would be exhausted, but 'tis not the case.  Through interviews and books, Bootleggers have uncovered many coveted tracks still unbootlegged.  "Holy Grails" of The Beatles, I suppose.

Among these are "Carnival of Light", a 15-minute experimental track Paul agreed to record for The Million Volt Light and Sound Rave; Helter Skelter (take 3), a bluesy version of this song that lasted for an epic 27 minutes; and many more.

Locked away in the Apple vaults, many would say the wait would not be worth it, but even this year many highly-desired tracks have emerged.

The newest release is John's quick demo "Hold On I'm Coming" released less than a month ago from the He Said He Said tapes in 1966.  Probably the most notable release as of late was this February's release of "Revolution take 20 RM1" (better know as "Revolution Take... Your Nickers Off").  This is Lennon's personal edit of the White Album version of Revolution 1, extending it to a whopping 10:46 with the normal ending looping over and over with various overdubs and chatter tacked on.  

It really is amazing, the wealth of material The Beatles created.  Though average listeners would dub most of the unreleased songs as "too obscure to enjoy," it still is very interesting seeing the writing process from demo stage to final completion.  For example, Strawberry Fields Forever had an amazing evolution.  From early demos with a working title of "It's Not Too Bad," the song started almost as a simple ballad and climaxed into the transcendental psychedelic epic on Magical Mystery Tour.  This evolution is documented via 15 different demos and 9 released takes (of 26 total).  You literally hear John's thought process in the works.  It really is quite an awesome way of looking at a half-decade old song in a new way.  

If anything, this intense amount of documented works only supports the claim that The Beatles are the best band of all time.  Again, it is a subjective opinion (I suppose all opinions are subjective), but still, you gotta hand it to John, Paul, George and Ringo.  If this much attention is placed on four humans, they must have been pretty damn amazing.  They really, as John infamously put it, might be bigger than Jesus.

Overall, The Beatles have tens of thousands of individual songs available on thousands of bootlegged albums.  And thanks to the internet, these are more readily accessible than ever.

I will not link directly to any specific sites harboring Beatles tracks in fear that they may be removed, but a tip: search "Beatles bootleg blog" in google.  See what you find.

Other ways to find unreleased Beatles' material is via bittorrent.  The best tracker I know of for bootlegs is Demonoid (though you need an invite).  Every single Purple Chick album is available on Demonoid, as well as hundreds of other bootlegs.

Also, you can ask around on the bootlegzone forums.  They love helping new people get into their beautiful subculture.

For now, enjoy this sampler I have uploaded (includes "Take Good Care of My Baby" "Bad To Me" "Sour Milk Sea" "Christmas Time Is Here Again" "Goodbye" "Revolution t20 RM1" and "Watching Rainbows":  BOOTLEG SAMPLER (.zip - .mp3)

Cheers, fellow friends!